The real spiritual experience arises from a questioning constant, almost excruciating. Reaching out to God, in laymen's terms, would not find satisfactory answers to our questions, often selfish, but the continuous updating of these same questions to transcend them with us. The importance is, therefore, the answer is probably not (perhaps the spirit is consisting only of questions that serve as responses themselves) and work of Marie Antoinette Mendívil beautifully exemplifies this process of soul-searching or higher.
Born in the desert of Sonora, in Cajeme, the January 1, 1971, Marian, as her friends call her, has come a long way to see that picture of serenity and purity of a girl with big eyes curious and caramel curls, no one would be so stoned, long and painful. Reading it, however, can penetrate your pain you feel but not as sorry as learning singular assumed that wealth gives its language and thought: "I've had my breaks where I write inside-recognized. I have no great ambitions imposed (innovate, trace, beyond). So I do not dread writing to the extent that paralyze me or make me drop out. Just want to be getting better. It keeps me active and without great fear. "
Like the characters in her two novels, Other times and Bereavement night, including the pilot calling the protagonist of the third, A single flight, Marian found his vocation early in adolescence, but this discovery was not a source of pleasure but of fear ... fear that is in some way, the protagonist of his novel whose characters live in fear of not using enough justice, their main weapon, perhaps the only one that have to defend: the language, in the case of the first two. The impetus to fly, in the case of Gabriel, Peter and Daniel in A single flight (Tusquets, Mexico, 2011), which is inborn in them, like any other human need.
For starters, the thematic and aesthetic interests diverge Marian, apparently, of what literature is supposed to be the northern border, "I am the sum of my landscape, my experience in this land, I have chosen readings (not necessarily related to my region), the mood of the north and my conscience as a person. " Only in appearance, again, because the vision of the Sonoran covers the vast expanse of original landscape that is also deep poetic. His desert, however, takes mystical and metaphysical dimensions not seen in other author of his, call it, genealogy (Cornejo, Gardea, Arredondo, Parra). His first novel, Other times (Balance Publishers, Sonora, 1999) is representative of this desert is rather a metaphor for temperament and language. It is, at the same time, a speculative fiction novel and a tribute to the language, set in an apocalyptic Sonoran Desert refuge where those opposed to a universal regime that has outlawed poetry, creating a taboo. This raises the struggle for survival of a community of poets turned into pariahs that they intend to continue airing his legacy, memory to memory, from generation to generation, no matter what: "The poet who until then believed in poetry revealed We knew also the great danger that letter was the symbol of tyranny. The word dress and travel with delicacy, and is easily opened the doors of appetite; inside, he draws, and opens with the curtain edge of consciousness. Once opened it can no longer be the same. "(P. 20).
The following words even better the leitmotif of Marian writing, determined to ignore anything that transcends it "(...) Many were the words that we no longer dare to pronounce. They had been so desecrated that the maximum tax was silence them, seal them, transmute them (...) "(p. 47).
Silence, like fear, or silence because of fear, are the basis of fiction and poetry of Marian, who published his first book, a poetry book, Countdown (ISC, 1991), twenty years. Silence, as in the desert, is manifested through echoes and lights. Mute all but faraway song whose origin could be illusory, the result of the need to complete the search, to quench the thirst of the weary soul. His second very successful novel, Dueling night (Almuzara, Sevilla, 2006) is the great metaphor of silence born of fear to face the truth about what we love, the painful and useless silence between mother and daughter have been silent all time and probably perpetuate confinement until the end. The poem "Lament of lad", included in the anthology of young poets Sonoran Wings scorpion, compiled by Paloma Gómez Hernández (Instituto Sonorense de Cultura, CONACULTA PAMYC, 2006) anticipates the theme of Dueling night: "He fell black as a rock / water / fell out of nothing / This hanging your little beast and his / beauty / Here the death death / shabby looking soul / where only the breath anima / Nothing from nothing / the black Black / Death death / And in my throat a long wail / ink falling on Paul. "(Flame, unpublished, 1993-1994).
Conception is the mother dying and Sara the daughter not to be away from his deathbed. None said anything. The story of Mourning at night is built from both characters' internal monologues as, allegedly, the dialogue becomes more difficult than ever. The generation gap becomes so insurmountable as the resignation of the mother to the pain and humiliation that has allowed his mother to her husband's cheating and the discussion of the daughter to what appears to be a destination you plan to escape, although it represents finally break the link with the mother. Not that the criticism of the mother's daughter. Rather, the daughter seeks to be endorsed as an individual, while being independent of the woman he should look like: "My house was love, unity, all that did not have was a reason to leave. And I always wanted to leave (...) The same key that locked me in my heart cold and distant was the key that freed me: my mind. A mind that my body was locked in mortal it pierced my conscience and walking in books, stories, worlds, visions, landscapes, views, dreams (...) My mind was deep and widespread, rough seas and impenetrable (...) No. I was not good. "(p. 54).
The thirst for knowledge in books and Sara seem unprecedented in their family. There is nothing to interfere, but nothing that matters. For some reason, while his brother Rafael is content with being the man protective of his sisters, and Marijose, the little girl, is limited to wonder, Sara seems to have been born with wings who insist on back as far as possible from a home where apparently nothing is missing. But only fault and Sara, who has wings, can sense it ... but does not solve it but to face the approaching death of his mother's freedom is lacking, freedom without which drowns ... freedom to think, decide, to deny, say, to be. Sara does not expect to die as his mother to fly (metaphor of the instinct of flight physical which will become his next novel.) It is from this notion of being that Sara reflects on the circumstances bashed his mother to not be herself, and she, Sarah, to bear a sense of guilt that did not belong: "From that day, life I was naked and abandoned in the same corner where he left my mother (...) I could not read. When I opened one of Nietzsche's books and read "God is dead", it closed shocked. I was terrified it was true that God was dead forever (...) "(p. 62).
just Sara, alter ego of Marian, refuses to believe that being a woman means what his mother thinks: "(...) Being pregnant and carrying buckets of water, being pregnant and still make tortillas flour and continue chopping wood, and still use the shovel to keep planting. "(p. 104). The daughter's rebellion, however, is internalized and, therefore, doubly painful. He embarks on a quest for God to address that and challenged by what is supposed to be his destination. But his rebuke is not angry, not sweet, is strong, determined, logical. Sara suffers from the soul, but also with the brain, is extremely rational. Because even doubt that God is on the other hand, knows that sooner or later confirm his suspicion that every human being, male or female, is born pure and ready to deploy the wings, that the law of men that cripples your flight and requires submission to either ungrateful roles reserved for each sex: "Sometimes I think I have invented God, that God is my other self, that this God is the umbrella that covers me from the storms and delays my fall ( ...) I think God is the best escape for a being extremely selfish as I may be (...) The only thing I make sure is that God exists, otherwise it would not feel his absence. "(pp 146 and 47).
We therefore need to duel at night is a novel that combines mysticism with fortune and feminism, and assumes its own Marian feminist bent, "I am a feminist I am, in the sense of seeking and advocate equality within the public and private space. I'm not in that it is not a position to actively advocate with special and unique interest. "Sara comes to question why women can not become priests, restlessness inherited from its author: "I think they know all theologians and even was the conclusion of John Paul II to revise this point of Catholic doctrine, at the request of a group of theologians in Canada: there is nothing in Scripture or theological limit the role of women within the Church or to prevent the ordination of women, "says Marian. There are many ways to renew the Catholic church, but women are not only underestimated the laity, are sometimes seen as second-actors within the Catholic institution. I think they allow women priests, will open the door to the marriage of priests, see celibacy as a free choice. "
As Sara, Marian has been tirelessly seeking relief from their spiritual quest, the intellectual equivalent that has resulted in reading and writing to the face, maybe that's why he studied theology in Salamanca ... but the search for God as writing itself, which is itself a religion, are the same source of infinite pleasure pain. We can see in Sara's own Marian stuffed nose in the books at the indifference of a family immersed in worlds scattered .... And you can also see it in the girl's own Marian describes me as the witness of the events that have A single origin of flight, history of time between the décadas de los sesenta y setenta, aunque al tratarse de un mundo tan masculino, la otra cara de la moneda de Duelo de noche, recurre a un narrador omnisciente, aunque con atinados giros en primera persona: “El sonido de mi niñez es de aviones fumigadores –me comenta Marian- Andaban a todo lo que daban durante todo el día, sobrevolando el campo. Y luego el aroma a guayaba fermentada…yo lo asociaba con el aroma a campo, pero luego supe que en realidad era el olor a veneno. En Cajeme se siembra mucho, de manera masiva, sobre todo trigo y algodón en algún tiempo, y al momento de hacerse industrial la avicultura, los aviones fumigadores se volvieron necesarios. Esos recuerdos forman parte de mi infancia y me han perseguido siempre. As a child did not go out with friends from school, I went to camp with my dad and that was the world I breathed. "
A single flight is a little series about a family that exercises a skill rarely or, dare I say, never addressed in Mexican literature: the pilots sprayers. There is no defined character, but of entry, who seeks to crush, or crush, with its presence to all others, is the uncle Gabriel, the leader .... Those who have the power to decide which of his nephews, nicknamed "the bald ", will replace him in this leadership that deep contempt, as well as himself. Note that a character is admirably treated from the psychological point of view, as well as others. Marian cove deep in the psyche of each, the degree to recreate and socialize admirably two experiences: the intimate and social. For Gabriel, merciless and mocking their relatives pay homage to, you know worthy of such reverence, has given up his dream of becoming an acrobat to perpetuate a family tradition as it is aware of their vulnerabilities, with Agnes, his young wife U.S. , the most sensitive of them ... just as one of his nephews, the Pie in particular, nicknamed by his pathetic stutter- Gabriel understands that the guy is more deserving of scorn than admiration, and Marian admirably recreates the confrontational, rebellious voice that manifests itself into the cake.
We, on the other hand, Peter, the most humble and yet the most worthy of the family, quiet man who bites the rabid desire to fly, is, along with Uncle Gabriel, with whom, to observe this obsession and, somehow, is enforced by that god that makes white nephews all the frustrations.
But Gabriel and Peter are not the only ones who seem born with a pair of folding wings. Share this obsession Agnes with her husband. In adolescence and awakening admiration with his talent for aerobatics. But was not the same as a girl daring in their country of origin at the hidden village of Sonora. For some reason, it can be love, but the reader can not help doubting Agnes leaves this world, and thus the aerial acrobatics, when he meets Gabriel, a man much older than she and moved with him to Cajeme. Of course not view with favor, even though the people have become accustomed to its striking presence: now the arm of Uncle Gabriel at fifteen years, pregnant. It is not in any way, in a submissive woman like Carmen, the wife of Peter, though Peter is far to be a macho-husband, their knowledge beyond even those of men around her, and has no qualms about making you feel a strong character that shakes the very Gabriel. It is also a carefree young girl who becomes the obsession of Daniel, the young son of Peter, whose feelings for Agnes grow with Daniel himself, "It is as if Agnes were a pair of wings on his back . Well known that the machine is suspended in the air because of it. "(P. 62).
A single flight is a remarkable novel in many ways: originality of theme and structure in the first place ... but there is also the description that makes the experience of flying and varies significantly from one character to another. Flying will never be the same in every description. Each character sees it completely differently. Marie Antoinette tells me that to achieve this effect she had to fly many times with different drivers.
glides down the runway and feels every slight edge, every word, every ripple. His whole body shakes. Gently pull the stick and the plane and rises in a frenzy. Stop loading the machine and will grant it. Now is a being small and insignificant. The stick, rudder pedal, fuel controls, height and speed are so few instruments to face the universe, it created nothing, in heaven, in the air. This unknown world full of rush of wind or slumber, humidity, unknown laws (...) In her mind there is nothing else that is not brand new sky that day, seeing him open like a huge fruit color changes from brown to pink and orange as it enters (...) "(p. 70)
Marian, like many writers, had to cross the threshold of hell, though in his case, again, it is an internal and not external circumstances. Suffer the death of his mother and marriage breakdown I never expected the play that made bottom where they finally find his voice, his way ... his character and his God-God-desert. The real Marie Antoinette Mendivil. AC currently writing with raising her beautiful daughter Mariana and address of an advertising agency in Hermosillo, Sonora, and is already working on a fourth novel.
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